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I watch in awe as it flickers, The color gone red to gold, My eyes so captivated by the flame, I stay and wait for it to change. To ignore the screams upstairs, I start to play with fire, Letting it kisss and burn my hands, Just like how I desire, To want to feel pain For that is what I wish to feel As I step even closer, making my wish real. I laugh and shout with joy As my friend is fed, changing back to red. It roars louder, daring me to come I jump back, fearing just this once. But then I smile again, Realizing the flames are now steady, I ponder on one thought, Should I stay here? Where everbody hates, So broken as they are done With their anger and rage, Dead and cold within, I think harder about their sins, No, I want to be alone Where I can hear no fighting, And finally feel at rest, Yes my friend I would like you to take my last breath. I climb into the fire place, Feeling oh so warm, It fills me with love As I start to suffocate. It kisses my skin As I start to scream, But then I slowly stop, I close my eyes again And then I feel at peace, Finally, I am asleep.
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The last moments of their firey heat still lingering, wanting to come back as fast as it had come. She could feel her head rising and lowering with every breath he took. His heart beat, the only comfort in her ear as she lay upon his chest knowing that there could be no other. She closed her eyes now ,memorizing everything that occured minutes ago. They way he pulled her close with need, wrapping his arms around her body. The kissing began, soft at first, then more passionately. She couldn't let him go, they were bound together, awaiting the sweet sex that was to come. His hands moved slowly all over her body, stopping for only a moment to certian places, making her moan and gasp. He couldn't wait any longer. The breathey whisper, "Let's go now, my love," distracted her for only a second. His head lowered kissed the forbidden places: her neck, her chest, her breasts as he cupped them gentley. He squeezed them, testing to see her reaction. Another gasp escaped her. Their clothes already sheded lay on the floor of her bed room. He picked her up and threw her onto her bed. She smiled arms raised awaiting him. He came forth lowering himself into her, making them one. The pain did not last as long as the plessaure she now felt, now knew. Her body felt as though if it was in fire. The tingles before became electricity surging throughout her body. He kissed her again and again. Lowering and rising himself in and out making her feel alive. So alive that the fear she felt before left her completely. This plain room, became her fantasy, became reality. She tested this theory by biting his lip, he groaned but did not let her go. Her arms wrapped around his neck yanked his hair. The loving lasted for what seemed like forever, please let it be forever. Finally with one more thrust he monovered himself next to her side. They layed silent completely awestruck. He then lifted her chin up, letting her eyes meet his gaze. " I love you," he whispered after he kissed her slowly on the lips letting the tingles come back when their tounges met. He lifted her until her head was upon his chest, holding her in his arms tightly, instinctivly before he fell asleep.....
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His violet eyes were lit by joy as he stood on the side walk that night, happily looking up. His grey mittens on his hands, catch the snow flakes that are falling down. There are no lights, no one else outside, so why do you ask, is this boy out here? She knows, the lady in the grey coat. She watches afar as the boy wearing a white shirt, white shorts, black boots and grey mittens plays with the falling snow. She also sees the dark liquid forming on his mittens, but more importantly, she could also smell it. The sweet smell of the child's blood, wasted as he goes on, innocently sitting down. She guesses his age. "Merely seven," she mumbles. She stays there behind an oak tree for a while longer. Her patience thining, she decides to advance, now knowing that he was left there on purpose. Time was running out for this little boy. You see, he was left there to die by the ones who loved him. She approaches him casually until she stands infront of him. " Hello," she says. Startled, he stands up immediatley, trying to push her away. She takes a step back, a bit amused by his reaction. She smiles reassuringly and says, "I'm sorry to have scared you little boy, but I was quite surprised to see you ....playing here in the middle of the night. Where are your parents?" He put his arms to his sides, not saying a word. His eyes look directly at the ground. Not answering her completely, he tells her, " They said I was a bad boy and that I couldn't live anymore....I love the snow! Will you play with me?" He looks up full of hope, but his face was twisted in pain when he heard her laugh. She was like them, she did not like his exsistance either, he thought. "No, I do not like the snow, but will you tell me this? Why did you let them do that to you?" She points to his mittens where they were smeared with blood. He backs away, surprised that she could see it. " Because they said in my death will they finally love me." His face bled the moment he finished saying what he said. "I'm...bleeding...," he murmered. "Ofcourse you are, do you not know that your wrist have been slit open?" She remarks. "No, my face, it's bleeding too!" He cried out. She chuckles as she wipes his tears away. So young and niave he is. "Do you wish to die?" She asks. "They told me it won't hurt if I will myself to go away...forever..." He whispered. He felt faint now and his vision was blurring. His blood had made its way to his shirt by now. "No child, I wish to know what you want. I do not care for another's wishes." She said. She was resisting, but it was getting harder to not strike him down. His blood called her and his sadness was eating away at her heart. She wanted everything to stop, to end it before she pitied him. " I will help you make them love you. Close your eyes and think about what makes you happy." She licked her lips, ready to kill him. He obeyed her, smiling at her words. She did care! She wasn't like them after all. He felt her warm breath upon his neck. " Will you be my mother?" He whispered. Her hands were on his shoulders and her teeth were inches away from him. She stopped aburptly. "What? What did you just say?" "Will you be...my mother?"He said again, very softly. He felt sleepy, yet he tried to stay awake to hear her answer. "Ask me for something else..." Her heart had skipped a beat. How odd, thoose sick words made me feel slightly happy, she thought. "Will you- Will you protect me?" He gasps as he loses his strength and falls into her arms. He felt cold, much colder than before. What? What was this child saying? She didn't want to understand, yet tears trailed down her face. He was dying and it was much too late to save him. "Please? You care for me, right? I can hear it...in your voice. I don't- I don't want to die..." He wanted to finish his sentence, but he was too tired.I don't want to die because I want you to love me, he thought. His eyes slowly closed as he saw her for the last time. She watched as his face became paler. She couldn't help him and her hunger had dissapeared. The feeling of despair and pain hit her. No, he couldn't die yet. There was one way to save him, but she would be severely punished if he were to live. Though he was nearly drained of blood, he had enough for it to work. She drank most of it as she felt his heart beat slow. When she was done, she waited for the right moment. She lifted his head and bit her tounge. She fed him her blood. Seconds passed until his heart finally stopped. He layed still and at peace. Awhile later, she let out a sigh of defeat. She put him down on the ground gently, thinking of how foolish she had been. He couldn't have survived anyway; he was too young. She stood up ready to leave. She whispered, "Goodbye." She turned around and walked a couple feet away. Then she heard him cry out again and again. Shocked to hear his voice, she ran back to him. His eyes were wide open, but he was still crying out. She held him tightly, wanting to stop him from hurting. "It's okay, i'm here now, shhh. Shhh." Her words failed to reach his mind. He thrashed his arms around feeling odd and out of place. His body was corrupted. The coldness wasn't there anymore. A small flame lit his heart and had started spreading. It consumed his whole body with heat as he screamed again and again in pain. Suddenly he stopped moving and the white world began to blurr. His eyes closed once more;He fell into a very deep sleep. The darkness swirled around him, like it wanted to play a game. He felt like he was floating down, but then the darkness changed. He saw his parents again, but they looked the same like hours ago. They were doing the same things as well. He was in the back seat of their van. They whispered back and forth urgently. They glanced at him sevrel times, worried that he would know. The side windows were blocked by black bags and he was instructed to not look at the front window. He wondered if they knew it was his birthday that day. He also wondered why he was wearing all white. The back seat beside him had pleanty of different colored things, but he only found grey mittens and black boots that could fit him. He decided to put them on. It had gotton colder in the van. Inside his head, someone screamed. He was very confused, but at least his mother had smiled, looking right at him. Then the van halted to a stop. His father tells him to move over and he obeys. He watches as his father crawls to the back seat. " Come now, give me your hands. It's time to relieve us from our burden. You won't hurt anymore, my child." He nodded as his face became solem. It was time for him to leave. His father took the knife out and told him to look at his mother. He flinched as he felt it cut through his skin. "Die now, for our promise is love. Love will fill you as you die," she said. He was then insructed to get out and turn his back to the van. A while later he heard the engine roar as they left. He wandered the empty street, seeing abandoned houses. He was alone and scared, but then he saw a light and followed it, feeling happier as he got closer. The light floated to the sky and he watched it leave. He sat down on the ground, deciding to make a snowy bed. When he looked back up, a lady in a grey coat appeared. She asked him one question that he could recall, "Do you wish to die?" It echoed in his mind. He looked down, not wanting her see him tremble. A moment later did he say, "No." She started to fade, moving further away from him. "No!" He cried again chasing after her. "Wake up....wake up!!" She yelled. He heard her voice as his eyes snapped open. He heard himself say, "No,no,no!" He sees that she had held him, for how long he did not know. "Mother?" He asked not sure of why he was alive. She smiled and nodded. "Yes. You are my son now. I have made your wish come true child, but your life once before is forever gone. Do you understand?" He smiled at her and said, "Yes." She helpped him up as he held her hand. "Let us go now, but I must ask you one more thing, are you thirsty?" He cocked his head confused and shook his head. " I never really drink anything at all." He told her. She laughed and said, "Well that is going to change."
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The Elements Earth : is our Mother and represents the densest of the Elements. Air: is the power of movement, the mind and the intellect. Fire: is the creator and destroyer, and yet must be controlled to be of benefit to us. Water: is cleansing and healing, an energy that gives us life.
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When night is calling
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They live by night, not by day. They can make your fears both come and go away. Beneath the moon there teeth shine bright. Within the streets they prowl at night. With skin as pale and white as snow. But if you take a closer look they go. I feel there breath upon my back. And pray that I might not be a snack. They are always such a thing to admire. The lovely, the beautiful, vampire
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Look how the family has grown since this site first began last year. There are so many of us now, young and old But, we have lost some over the months We need to reach them all and get them back And yes, the young ones as we call them, may be young in body but their souls are old and wise and we must see them as such Open your eyes and really see how special our young ones are. So many gifts, so a part of our family Do not discard what they say as they do speak the truth on many things Do not let ourselves fight amongst each other as has happened so many times and still continues Do not let those others win. We cannot. Together as a family we are strong. Alone we are weak. Each member of the family has their own special or unique talents or gifts as I call it. Each member is valued and important So let us all stand together as one, strong, powerful, willful and not let those others defeat us in any way Unite now with one another Because we will need each member of this special family of ours for things to come in the future There are those out there that want our family to fall apart and envy the closeness and love we share for one another They will not win the battle. Our family needs to stay strong and together and not pulled apart by conflict So I say here and now, family, be strong now and together we will overcome whatever may come our way. Love you all.
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We swept into the sleepy town on wings of night; we were a rushing, a ferocious wind and we were hungry. Some felt us coming. Some amongst the fat and frightened sleepers raised their heads, their hooded eyes would try in vain to pierce the dark - as always, they would try to find a refuge in a fire, that is all they ever knew to have, to stand between them and the endless night, filled to the brim with life that wants to feast upon them, wants to sink its flashing teeth without a second's hesitation deep into their unprotected flesh and tear their worlds apart in a bright ruby sacrifice, a baptism of blood that ends their meaningless existence. But all the fires do is blind them further still and take away whatever chance they might have had to rise and flee, or to agree and find a balance, learn our ways and share our days and nights in some form that resembles an ecology - but they do no such thing, instead they quiver and they tremble, they pray, they stare - right up until their end. Yet there are others, rare amongst them, who would try to see. In every village, every town there are a chosen few who celebrate the coming of our kind, who see us not as monsters but as saviours and they prayed that we should come and take revenge on their behalf on all that madness, all that sadness, all those pointless lives and lies - those are the children of the night, they run to us and they care not if they should live or die, for those we are salvation, either way. So here we are and here we stand in drifting veils of time and power, our family is here and there before us lies the sleeping town. Bright is the moon above; it lights the shadow shapes of those few who have come to greet us, meet us and invite us to begin the feast - as is tradition, we enfold them first and some of those if they are strong and pure will join our family; and others will find sweet release and will receive the blessing of the night. This serves to heighten our senses; and the hunger is now such that we must laugh and spin. We stand together one more time as one, we play with our exquisite and excruciating need, we make it crest as high as it will be; and then we rush into the town and now, the feast begins.
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I look at my life as if I was meant to be
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I've tried and tried again. Ok I can't fix it. Leave it alone. I know I'm screwed up and I know I can't fix myself. I'm going numb and that's how it's going to stay. I'm sorry to say, but this is where this wolf may have to say goodbye. My job, my only job, my only work, is to serve as a Guardain and Protector. That's what I do and more. I'm an Alpha, I'm a trainer, I'm a protector, and that's how it's going to stay. I'm not going change what I can't, I'm not going to try anymore. I'm out, and if I come back, well I just hope you listened to what I have to say.
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I am the darkness ruled by the light, the guardian of the falling, the angel with the black halo, and the silver wings. I am the protector of all who ask, of all who call my name to the wind. I have passed through the fire, and spoken to the earth, I have reached out my hand and grasped the future, and looked apon it with open eyes, that I might see what is truly there, lying under a sheen of lies, and grasped it, that I might share it with the world.
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Sorry if this seem jumbled but it was taken from a chat session I was having with Susanna. I came outta this dream sequence with some brusing and Susanna said there were some here who would be interested to read it. Guardian please don't be upset. ~love you Malaky o.k. in the first dream it wasn't too bad 10/05/2009 09:42:56 ‹Malaky› I was at a aqaurium that had big fish, little fish, whales, like seaworld 10/05/2009 09:43:38 ‹Malaky› I was mesmerized by a killer whale he was so beautiful and he was talking to me telling me to come closer 10/05/2009 09:44:01 ‹Malaky› and then he turned evil as I got closer and tried to bite me 10/05/2009 09:44:10 ‹Malaky› I woke up 10/05/2009 09:44:15 ‹Malaky› end of dream one 10/05/2009 09:44:35 ‹Malaky› I may have summarized that alot but didn't want to drone on, lol 10/05/2009 09:44:51 ‹susanna› Wow, remind me never to take you to seaworld. lol 10/05/2009 09:44:53 ‹Malaky› dream two scarier 10/05/2009 09:45:04 ‹Malaky› I loveseaworld though :( 10/05/2009 09:45:16 ‹susanna› Well, we shall see then won't we. 10/05/2009 09:45:47 ‹susanna› You do not live that far away for a visit you know. 10/05/2009 09:46:12 ‹Malaky› O.K. so in dream two there was a guy whos face I never saw. But he was collecting people in groups. I felt like maybe I was college age in this dream 10/05/2009 09:46:34 ‹Malaky› *money* that's all it takes right, lol 10/05/2009 09:47:04 ‹Malaky› He collect my group first, I think there were 6 of us, guys and girls 10/05/2009 09:47:04 ‹susanna› Right hun which I don't have too much of at the moment. lol No lottery winnings and no inheirtance. lol 10/05/2009 09:47:54 ‹Malaky› He put us in a storage warehouse, a very large one, with what looked like props from a or for a scary movie 10/05/2009 09:48:39 ‹Malaky› We were all scared, then I did something with my mind to make doubles of ourselves cause I felt like I had to save us 10/05/2009 09:50:02 ‹Malaky› We hid in a back room that was dark like a dungeon, like someone had made it to look like a dungeon. :He came back with a second group of kids and I was so scared that I couldn't hold the images of us I had created 10/05/2009 09:50:27 ‹Malaky› He was furious when he couldn't find us! 10/05/2009 09:51:12 ‹Malaky› I started desperately looking for a way out of the dungeon and found a door hidden in the dark 10/05/2009 09:51:44 ‹Malaky› I wispered to everyone to follow me thru the dark to the door and escape 10/05/2009 09:52:04 ‹Malaky› When I got thru the door everyone was gone that was with me and I was in a new dream 10/05/2009 09:52:32 ‹susanna› So you never found out why this man wanted all of you? 10/05/2009 09:52:37 ‹Malaky› In this dream I had a baby in my arms and I was at this huge outdoor type carnival 10/05/2009 09:53:00 ‹Malaky› I'm pretty sure he wanted to kill us but dreams are weird like that 10/05/2009 09:53:32 ‹Malaky› I was with a family, my family i'm guessing, and we were having a good time. 10/05/2009 09:54:18 ‹Malaky› Then a man appeared, he looked like a scary ring leader, he said nothing just cracked his whip and a sudden storm seemed to brew up from nowhere 10/05/2009 09:55:00 ‹Malaky› the rides started swaying, and one that looked like a giant faris wheel started to fall right on top of me 10/05/2009 09:55:25 ‹Malaky› The freaky circus man was looking at me with evil eyes and laughing you won't get away this time 10/05/2009 09:56:26 ‹Malaky› I had the baby in my arms still and the Farris wheel came crashing down, I tucked her into me and rolled to get out of the way. 10/05/2009 09:57:22 ‹Malaky› When the farris wheel miss the freaky circus man got more angry and started trying to trick me into believing I was somewhere else.... and then my 2 yr. old woke me up 10/05/2009 09:57:44 ‹Malaky› But the evil presence in all my dreams felt like the same one, toying with my mind 10/05/2009 09:58:15 ‹Malaky› I woke up with brusies on my arms. probably from that last one 10/05/2009 09:58:31 ‹susanna› Wow. You should post all 3 dreams on the home page under inner circle under dream recall and let the members give you their opinions on each one.
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What has made me angry? Was it something from my past that maybe carried over to this life I lead now. Ws it the present like yesterday or today. Maybe it is my dark side. Got to keep the anger in check. I lash out at those I love. Don't like the anger. Must be happy. Think positive thoughts. Anger hurts those around you. I say things I regret later. Can't live with the anger. Need to control it. Was it something that you said? Did I misunderstand your words? Please, no more anger. Have it go away for good. Having friends make me happy. No more worries. No more anger. Lock it away and throw the key out. Don't need it any more in my life.
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What is a friend? One that is there when you need them. Are you happy, sad or angry? Or maybe you have problems you need help with. True friends are hard to find. So many pretend. So many lie. Some want to fit in. Are you my friend, then tell me so. Why are you the way you are. Be honest with me and tell me the truth. But the truth hurts sometimes. Don't turn away or I will be lost forever. Stop. Take a look at yourself. Don't go friend. By my friend and never end our friendship. Please, no more sadness, no more pain.
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Roses are Red Violets are Blue You're my loving daughter And there is only one of you You make me laugh, you make me smile Even though I only see you once in a while God blessed me when he gave me you And I will always love you for that is true.
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as my thoughts start to wander- they all lead back to you- i love how you make me smile- and being comforted by knowing you are there- i dream the nights away- of being in your arms- and holding you close- as each day passes- i smile more and more- knowing soon i will be with- the one i love ---------------------------------------- comme mes pensées commencent à errer- ils tous fil de nouveau à vous- j'aime comment vous me faites le sourire- et étant soulagé en vous connaissant y a il- je rêve les nuits loin- d'être dans des vos bras- et possession vous étroit- comme chaque jour passe- je souris de plus en plus- me connaissant bientôt serai avec- l'un amour d'I- (this is an older poem)
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Everyone has one. They hide who they really are. Of all colors and sizes. Each one meaning more then the last. Sad or happy, it can hide. When you walk down a street, the people have masks. The hide what they feel, so they can feel safe. And i'll tell you what, to me, its getting old.
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What is love? Not material things in this world. Happiness, Sadness, the joy of loving through all eternity. A special one that is always in your heart. Laughing, crying together. One that fills the empty space in your heart. One that was lost but you know is out there. You are one, soul, body and heart. When you lose him/her emptiness where once that void was filled. Need to find him again, must find him. always have hope and faith. Never give up. Once together will never lose him/her again. True soulmates forever. By Suzie 03/08/09
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A rose is nothing but
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